


Hypoallergenic

by platonic_boner



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Allergies, An OOC lack of stabbing, Cats, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 03:51:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18843049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonic_boner/pseuds/platonic_boner
Summary: “I love cats,” Thor says, and picks up the cat to admire it.





	Hypoallergenic

Earth is annoyingly peaceful these days, and in the absence of anything actually heroic to do, the Avengers are running a pet adoption event. Thor volunteered to help out and then dragged Loki along, so now Loki is trapped in a grassy field infested with all sizes of humans, cats, and dogs, and is expected to be pleasant and helpful when the humans ask him questions.

Despite this, Loki’s actually having a good time, because watching Thor try to interact with cats is hilarious. Thor is both completely ignorant of how cats like to be treated, and exceptionally allergic to anything feline.

To start with, Thor’s eyes began watering as soon as they walked into the animal-filled field. Loki had, of course, done his brotherly duty and reminded Thor about his allergies, but Thor refused to believe him.

Instead, Thor announced, “Ridiculous! I love cats!” and picked one up.

He promptly dropped it from sneezing too hard.

Now, half an hour later, Thor can’t stop sneezing. His eyes are hideously red, and he’s just starting to break out in hives. He looks _terrible_. 

“You look absolutely _awful_ , brother,” Loki says, cheerfully.

“I’m fine,” Thor says, his words slurred in a way that makes Loki think his tongue is probably swelling.

“You really might want to leave,” Bruce tells him. “Seriously, you’re - you’re _very_ allergic, Thor. These symptoms are pretty extreme. Are you having any trouble breathing?”

“Of course not!” Thor says. He sneezes. “I’m not allergic to cats!”

Thor punctuates this with a long sneezing fit, so that everyone within earshot - which is basically everyone, Avengers and random New Yorkers alike - has time to exchange doubtful looks.

“I had a wonderful cat as a child,” Thor continues. “I must just be coming down with a cold. Come here, kitty!”

Thor picks up another cat and tries to cuddle it. As soon as it comes within a foot of his nose, he sneezes very violently. Bruce rescues the cat.

Loki smirks.

“Maybe the cat you had was hypoallergenic,” Bruce suggests, letting the cat leap down gracefully from his arms.

“I don’t think so,” Thor says. “My cat was very fluffy.”

“I w- it was _not_ fluffy,” Loki says.

No one pays attention to him, because Tony emerges from a huddle of children with a hairless cat held up victoriously. “Here, try this one, Thor,” he says.

“I suppose,” Thor says dubiously, taking the cat. 

He holds the cat for several moments. Everyone waits. He doesn’t sneeze.

“There you go!” Tony crows.

“Ah, there must be something wrong with your Midgardian cats! But this one is good!” Thor says. He beams and hugs the cat tightly. 

Startling no one but Thor, the cat yowls furiously and scratches its way out of Thor’s arms. It indignantly leaps to the ground and shoots away.

Thor looks sadly after it. “What kind of cat doesn’t like hugs?”

“Most cats,” Bruce says.

“Most _real_ cats,” Natasha says.

Loki doesn’t freeze, but he does stiffen very, very slightly. He recovers himself and looks at Natasha.

She smirks at him.

“I did not imagine Lightning!” Thor says. “He was very fluffy and he didn’t make me sneeze and he loved hugs!”

“I don’t think you imagined him,” Natasha says. “I just think he wasn’t actually a cat. Tell me, did you ever see Loki and your cat in the same room at the same time?”

Loki sniffs. What sort of question is that - does she think he’s an _amateur_ illusionist?

Thor looks thoughtful for a moment, but then shakes it off and laughs. “Of course! Plenty of times! Although Lightning did like me better.”

Thor barely gets the sentence out before he’s overtaken by another sneezing fit. The conversation moves on to the more pressing issue of making Thor leave before he dies, and Loki relaxes.

*

Was Loki the cat? Of course Loki was the cat.

Being Asgard’s second-favourite prince was _lonely_. There were days when Loki would’ve killed someone for a hug. And while he knew Thor would, what was he supposed to do - go and _ask_ his brother to hug him? No. Loki had dignity.

A cat does not have dignity. A cat can curl up on someone’s chest and take a nap. A cat can let that someone cuddle him for hours at a time. Nobody yells at a cat, or is disappointed in him, or makes fun of him.

Of _course_ Loki was the damn cat.

*

Thor ends up folding to the others’ pressure and leaving the pet adoption event early. Loki goes with him, in case his allergic reaction doesn’t subside once he’s away from the animals - he doesn’t want Thor to actually _die_ from this.

Thor is unusually quiet as they head home from the event. Loki assumes it’s the swollen tongue until he says, “I miss Lightning.”

Loki turns to study Thor with narrowed eyes. Is he just reminiscing? Or did Natasha’s suspicions resonate with him?

Thor smiles warmly at him. “What do you think are the chances I could get a new cat? Another fluffy one that likes hugs?”

So much for dignity.

Weirdly, despite how long Loki’s kept this a shameful secret, it doesn’t feel bad now that Thor’s figured it out. Loki’s not horrified. His hands don’t even have knives in them; he doesn’t have the urge to stab Thor, not even for implying he likes hugs. He actually feels kind of warm inside.

“Are you going to name this one something respectable?” he asks.

A delighted grin breaks across Thor’s face. “If you insist.”

“Then I’d say your chances are pretty good.”


End file.
